Soul Bones: Accepting the Anatomy of Who I am


By Michelle Ainslie

Soul Bones is the story of how I came to accept and love myself, despite mental illness and a series of abusive relationships.  I go on a journey to discover not only why I had made the choices I did, and why I was the slightly awkward and "different" person I was, but also to discover my ultimate WHY.  The answers changed my life. When I lay in the ruins of the life I destroyed, my words and where they took me were how I started breathing life back into my soul's broken body on the cold slab of rock bottom. Every bone of my soul was shattered and I didn't know which piece fitted where, but by learning the silent, ancient language I knew those bones would speak back to me.  I knew that if I learned to hear deeper than the silence, and tapped into a voice that didn't speak in words and syllables, that I would start to understand.  I would string one tiny piece of bone to another like a giant three-dimensional puzzle and rebuild my broken life.  I would create and re-create myself.  I would let meaning breathe through me again and give those bones life. But first I just sat with my brokenness and acknowledged where I was. I admitted the reality. I ran tiny bones between my fingers.  Felt the pain in the sharp edges, the forgotten stories in the grooves. I started to remember. And that was enough. That was Soul Bones.